Honey, it’s not talked about enough but there is an emotional gap for adoptive and surrogate families in feeling connected with their babees once they arrive. But don’t worry too much bonds happen over time as with any relationship.
Bringing a babe home through surrogacy or adoption is a deeply emotional and transformative experience. While love and commitment are instant, the bonding process may take a little time. One of the most powerful ways to nurture attachment is through infant massage—a practice rooted in tradition and backed by science.
Why Infant Massage Matters for Surrogate and Adoptive Families?
For babees, especially those who have transitioned from one caregiver to another, touch is a primary language of love and security. Infant massage helps bridge the gap between biological and emotional connection by:
Enhancing Bonding:
Through skin-to-skin contact, gentle strokes, and eye contact, adoptive and surrogate families can build familiarity and trust with their babee.
Regulating the Nervous System:
Babees who have experienced early transitions may have heightened stress. Massage activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and emotional regulation.
Supporting Emotional Healing:
If your babee has spent time in a NICU, orphanage, or had a complex birth journey, touch therapy can offer reassurance and help them feel safe in their new environment.
Aiding Digestion and Sleep:
Gentle tummy massages can ease colic, gas, and constipation, while a consistent bedtime massage routine can support better sleep cycles.
How to Get Started with Infant Massage?
If you’re new to infant massage, start with these simple steps:
1. Create a Calm Environment
Find a quiet, warm space where you are comfortable and your babee can relax. Dim the lights, play soft music, and ensure your hands are warm before beginning.
2. Use Gentle, Loving Touch
Apply a natural, babee-safe oil like coconut or grapeseed oil to your hands. Using slow, rhythmic strokes, massage your babee’s feet, legs, arms, and back while speaking or singing softly.
3. Follow Your Babee’s Cues
Infant massage should always be a consensual practice and we should ask babee’s for permission. If your babe turns away, stiffens, or becomes fussy, pause and try again later. Look for signs of enjoyment, such as relaxed hands, cooing, and steady eye contact.
4. Incorporate Massage into Daily Routines
Making massage a part of your daily bonding time—before naps, after bath time, or during quiet moments—can strengthen attachment and help your babee feel emotionally secure.
5. Attend an Infant Massage Class With Me, A Trained Instructor
Yes, as a certified infant massage educator I can guide you through specific techniques tailored to your babee’s needs, whether they are premature, have sensory sensitivities, or need extra support with bonding.
A Powerful Tool for Family Connection
Infant massage is more than just a soothing practice; it’s a love language, safety, and connection. Whether you’re an adoptive parent or a family formed through surrogacy, this simple yet profound act of touch can help you create a strong, loving bond with your babee—one gentle stroke at a time.
Would you like guidance on personalized infant massage techniques? Reach out to learn more about how this practice can support your family’s unique journey here.
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